musings: January 2014

"The prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the reading of stories, they survive fire.”

Ann Voskamp

Today I was able to have a bit of extra time snuggled up with this little one who was having an rare tough morning. Baby M is generally so calm, and content, but today he just wanted to remind me that he was in fact a baby. And some days babies just need to be babies. But being able to console and love on this sweet baby made my heart full. Full of gratitude and thanksgiving for his Creator, who knew I needed to just stop in the busyness of life and that despite our good intention of making it to church, that He needed my heart right where I was. Right in the middle of the chaos of life. I needed to stop and set aside my agenda to reflect, be prayerful, and offer thanksgiving. I am in awe and so grateful that God has demonstrated His transcending, perfect mercy and love in choosing Chris and I to care for this little one as his parents. We know that he is His child, his life woven together according to His perfect plan- knowing his present and future needs, desires, discomforts, and joys. My prayer as a mother is that God will extend to me the daily wisdom and grace I need to mother and raise little Micah according to His ways. So, little Micah, as quoted above, I weave prayers together for you as I experience the dailies of this adventure in motherhood.

4/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2014."

"I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep." (Ann Voskamp)

Micah: having a conversation and sharing sweet smiles with Dada. This last week or so there have been abundant baby coo's and sweet smiles. Little Micah is crazy about his Daddy.

I have been immensely excited about participating in The 52 Project ever since I first heard of it through a friend, Kelly Kee. Through Kelly’s beautiful pictures, I was inspired to participate. Since then I was eagerly awaiting the day for my darling boy to arrive so I could begin participating in this project. Through reading Kelly's initial post I stumbled upon the creator of the project, Jodi Wilson, of the blog which was originally called “Che and Fidel,” which is now beautifully named “Practicing Simplicity”. Although we've never met, I think that Jodi and I are kindred spirits. My soul resonated with this project entirely. Her description of it is seemingly perfect, and I couldn’t express it any more elegantly so here is the heart behind The 52 Project:

"There's a common saying amongst mothers, first coined by writer Gretchen Rubin in her book The Happiness Project: “The days are long, but the years are short.” Indeed, our days of mothering babies and young children can be tiring and messy; a cycle of washing, settling, cleaning and playing. Sometimes they’re monotonous and seemingly endless. But then, without so much as a blink, the sleepless nights and mornings at the park are over, and we’re sending our children off to school, hesitantly cutting the metaphorical cord once again…I set about taking my children’s portraits as a way of documenting their fleeting childhood. I wanted tangible evidence of their growth and expansion; an honest account of their young, innocent lives. I took photos of [my son] sitting hesitantly on the side of the pool, hiding from the camera; his shadow an eerie replica, the twiddling of his toes - a family trait. [My daughter] was all round and soft in her first photo and as the year progressed I watched her limbs grow longer, her face more defined, her independence evolve. There are photos of her inquisitive eyes, her cheeky demeanor, and her top-knot; an unportrait of sorts that I’d probably nominate as my favourite… As 2012 came to a close I had 104 portraits - a story of [my childrens’] year. Imbued in each image is my story too; a tale of motherhood with all its exhaustion, frustration, joy and palpable, immeasurable love. It’s a documentation of ordinary days that I wanted to remember because they were beautiful - an odd collection of singular moments that would have otherwise gone unnoticed amidst the general busyness of life. Even when the days were too long to enjoy I can see, in retrospect, that they were a blessing.Beyond the story of this portrait collection lies a strange reality; I look through it and experience a profound sense of nostalgia for my children’s younger selves. I already miss them! I miss them with a longing that only a mother’s heart knows; it’s deep and raw and acts as a beautiful reminder: to stop, observe and document.”

So here’s to Stoping. Observing. Documenting. and Cherishing these small, raw, simple, beautiful, messy, real, tangible moments and keeping them suspended in time through my humble photographs.

As I mentioned above, I was eagerly anticipating my son’s arrival to begin participating in this beautiful project, but when that glorious day did finally arrive in November, I decided to wait until the New Year to start fresh. This decision was mostly due to the fact that I was hoping to receive a DSLR camera for Christmas and did not have anything aside from my iPhone to capture images on, as well as not having a blog to publish these precious, real moments onto until now. So… Remaining true to who I am, I’m already behind in posting, so here’s to catching up.

3/52 (week of 1.19.14)